Tooty-Ta

G Said:  What are the most rewarding aspects of teaching kindergarten?



She Said: Teaching kindergarten is an acquired taste and not for the weak of spirit.  Many fellow teachers have told me they could NEVER teach kindergarten and to that I groan.  I was one of these teachers until I had no choice and because of a layoff situation, I was placed in kindergarten.  I now whole heartedly believe that at least a year of teaching kindergarten should be required before one gets a credential.  Class discipline, positive reinforcement, classroom management, and much more are learned quickly on the kindergarten battle grounds, where eyes wander to a squirrel out the window, or a student decides rolling on the carpet is more fun then listening to instruction.



I explain teaching kindergarten to G as herding cats or trying to get a group of stoned people to learn and respond to directions. Impossible.  Yet kinder teachers do it day in and day out.  They sprinkle magic, love, songs, and much more through out the day to reach these young minds.  People frequently ask me if I like being a kindergarten teacher and also my favorite grade.  I will say that teaching second grade was a CAKE WALK compared to kinder.  Would I say I was born a kinder teacher, and it is the perfect grade for me to teach.  Hell no! Every day is a stuggle, every day I come home and plop on the couch ready for my own nap time, and every day I worry whether am I doing it right----- Are they learning, and is it fun and excting for my students, how can that Blues Clues guy keep their attention, and I can't???   In the end teaching kindergarten has been the most rewarding part of my career thus far because it is such a challenge.  I have not only grown professionally,  but kindergarten has shaped me into the person I am today and for that I am grateful.



Here is my list of the most rewarding aspects of teaching kindergarten:

-Laughter!  Laughter that is so pure it springs from the belly and giggles straight out the mouth.  Kinders teach me to laugh at myself.

-Learning that the words 'control' and 'perfect' have no place in kindergarten nor in any persons life if they want sanity!

-A never ending supply of hugs is readily given.

-Hearing my students say they love me every day when adults sometimes have a hard time expressing these simple words.

-Visiting kindergarten blogs until all hours of the night.  Kinder teachers are the most creative and gifted curriculum creators, classroom designers, etc.

-Sharing silly things my students say with G and then laughing hysterically together on the phone.

-I may not be able to solve the problems of the world let alone my own personal problems, but give me a, "He pushed me!" or "She wont play with me." or " Can you tie my shoe?" Yep I can handle that with great success.

-Everything that kinders see, touch, taste, hear, and smell is brand new and awe inspiring.  Watching their amazement reconnects me with my inner 5 year old.  The world is magnificent!

-Honesty.  If you can't handle honesty then kinder isn't for you.  I personally love it! There are no passive agressive, back stabbing, talk about you behind your back people here.  Kinders are shoot from the hip, show it on their face, and tell- it- to- your- face little guys, and I love it!

-There is tremendous growth that happens by the end of the year.  They come in barely able to hold a pencil and leave writing words, reading, sitting criss cross.  It is amazing what sponges they are and how far a kinder teacher can take them.

-I can be as girly, pink, sparkly, polka-dotty as I want, and they eat it up!

-Accepting that it is ok to make mistakes.  I teach them this and maybe it is about time I start to believe what I preach as well.

-I am one of the first educators that gets to mold them in to life long learners.  Shouldn't kinder teachers get a Nobel Prize for this?

-On a daily basis I can play with Fancy Nancy dolls, build with blocks, play vetrinarean, draw hearts and unicorns, sniff play-dough, and read Disney books.

-I find it rewarding to wonder what they will be like when they grow up and hoping they will remember me.

-Who doesn't want to believe in Santa Clause, Superman, The Tooth Fairy, and Easter Bunny?

-The smallest rewards mean something to them.  A sticker, earning time to play parachute outside, all are huge rewards for them; you would think they won a brand new car.

-Reading a story and having 25 faces hang on my e-v-e-r-y word.  Oh and the accents and various voices I throw in are fun as well.

-Knowing life may be hard for my kinders at home, but when they walk in MY classroom they are safe, loved, cared for, needed, and listened to.

-Learning balance.  In order to be energetic, fresh, and ready for a full day of kindergarten I need to make time for myself.  Teaching kindergarten forces me to look at my life and priorities or else I would be holed up all day in my classroom prepping and planning all night and day.



When it comes down to it there are many times I think teaching 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th may be more to my liking.  This could very well be true, but for some reason the universe keeps nudging me and placing me in kindergarten.  It is as if the higher powers are saying--- this is where you belong for now; you need to get more in touch with your inner child, loosen up a bit and not be so rigid, roll with the punches, and laugh at your self.  I am slowly succumbing to this better me, and each day is a new opportunity for me to make a mistake, color outside the lines, fall face first in the glittery kindergarten world, and just be a kid.  And yet as I sit here typing all the rewarding parts of kindergarten, I begin to realize will these little kinders ever realize just how much they impact my life?  They show up on my doorstep the greatest gift of all, wrapped and packaged in boogers, shoes that flash, whines, whimpers, squishy cheeks, pinks, blues, rolly polly bellies, wiggly feet, Disney lunch boxes, goldfish breath, sticky fingers, toothless smiles, barbie bandaged knees, lipstick kisses from their moms and you know what?!?!?! I love it all!

Oh Lord! Stuck in Lodi again.

This weekend G and She set out on a Lodi wine tour. First stop Michael David.



Although the names of the wines were catchy: Incognito, Heavenly Chards, 7 Deadly Zins and the labels were eclectic the wine was sub par.

G said: Big extracted Lodi style. If you love Lodi wine it could be for you. The whites struggle. Wasn't impressed. Quixote has ruined me for Petite Sirah. Although for 18 bones a bottle it may be for you.



This particular label is the exact replica of the seismograph reading from the 1906 San Francisco earthquake.

Outside on the grounds, there was a beautiful you-pick garden filled with dalias, zinnias, and sunflowers. We even played a game of bocce ball. G kicked butt as always. Never challenge an Italian stallion to bocce ball; you will lose.





Next stop m2!



This place is a diamond in the rough that is in dusty Lodi! A must stop. Michael Perry the pourer is as knowledgeable as they come. There are no pretty views, no flashy artwork; this place is down and dirty warehouse style. Take it or leave it.

G Said: Quote of the day, "the 07 Petite Sirah pulls up a lazy boy on your pallet and parks there." Really impressed with wine making here; there is actually a sense of place in the wine. M2 seems to be ahead of the market in predicting the rise of mediteranean varietals such as Albarino, Temparnillo, and Verdelho. The wine wasn't high alcohol or RS it was actually wine not candy.

Lane, the wine maker, we did not meet, but he is supposedly quite the story teller. Hopefully we will see him next time.  We will be coming back for sure.



G getting the back stage tour and nerding out.

Next stop Peirano Winery. She was in heaven because chips and salsa were paired with the wine.





G tries hard to look creepy in pictures or maybe he is just sad due to the horrible wine?

Blasé. Ok, so their wine 'The Other' has broken through and made its way to Costco. The pourer was celebrating this; unfortunately, our taste-buds weren't. Overly raisened was the consensus. In fact all the wine tasted the same. Our last taste was the cab a #2 best seller. Not impressed; just an Ocean Spray cranberry bog of a wine. Our pourer ended our tasting with Barbera and came right out and said how bad it was, but great for sangria. Personally who wants to end an already bad tasting with the worst copper penny smelling wine. Blech! Come on, this place should be embarrassed.

G tip: Any time you walk into a winery and they are blowing cases of their wine on sale for $28 think red flag.

On the way home to Modesto to fire up the grill and make burgers.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

She Said: What is harvest like?  What are the highs and lows of harvest time in wine country?  What goes on behind the scenes?  How can the ordinary person be involved or participate?

Here it is...Harvest Eve 2011.  After a cool wet spring across most of the state, temperatures rebounded and, so far, California has managed to stay dry and (knock on wood) fire-free.  Heat data in the Central Valley is almost identical to last year, and cooler sites are actually ahead of where they were last year at this time (in terms of growing degree-days).  The early June rain threw most growers for a loop, and most of the cooler regions (see Sonoma, Napa, Mendocino, Lake, etc) were experiencing bloom at the time.  As you may guess, heavy rain, high winds, and fragile flowers don't mix, and in the end, something had to lose.  Some growers were more unfortunate than others, and early-blooming varietals experienced lousy berry-set--hence, their crops could be lighter come harvest.  If you were in the Central Coast, then you know all too much about the April frost.  Out of respect, it will never be mentioned again.  But most of the state has caught up in the last month with respect to ripening and heat, and those grapes that are left on the vine look great.  2010, while not a bad year (in fact, I'll argue that it was the opposite), presented challenges that many California grape growers and winemakers had never experienced...namely a cooler than average season and WAY above-average rainfall.  The season was very un-California.  Strange weather caused some people to do strange things, like pulling basal leaves from vines with the idea that exposed berries will see more sunlight and ripen more quickly.  Now why is that a bad idea?  In developing vines, basal leaves are the largest, and therefore the most photosynthetically-active during the growing season.  At a point during the mid-summer, green growth (shoots and leaves) ceases and all the vine's energy is diverted into ripening fruit--the berries become a sink for photosynthetic products, which are sugars.  Removing basal leaves removes the main sugar-manufacturing stations from the vines, and during cool years, the berries need all the sugar that they can get.  Not only is ripening delayed, but the fruiting zones of the vines are fully exposed to the sun, leaving them in danger of burn.  Burn, you ask?  Oh yeah.  Grapes get sunburned just like your Irish cousin.  And in late August 2010, that's exactly what happened.  A string of 100+ days scorched California (102 in the Russian River Valley), and all of those exposed berries got fried on the vine.

But this is the year 2011!  So much we've all learned from the pop-quiz that most of us failed last year.

Our first loads are due to arrive this coming Wednesday morning, at which time Santa Claus will come down the winery chimney and leave Pinot Gris (which is destined for a program that I'm not permitted to reveal).  Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay, and Muscat will begin to hit at the end of the month and carry us through September.  Valley Pinot Noir is looking to be ready around mid-September, while the stuff that's actually worth a damn is currently in the early October timeframe.  Syrah, Merlot, and Cabernet Sauvignon will load up the month October; and come Halloween, we'll be seeing rain in the forecast and the final harvest push will end just before it gets wet and harvest is over.  That's the season in so many words.

But what really happens?  It's a world that not many are privileged to see, but if you're a friend of the blog, you have an inside track!  Like right now...

If you caught my Santa reference earlier, you might have the idea that I look forward to harvest like a kid looks forward to Christmas.  What I love the most about it is the fact that there's only one chance per season to execute a plan, so everything--all those ideas, all those months of developing a playbook--need to occur in a very very finite period of time.  If you fail, you miss your chance for another twelve months (and, more often than not, you'll receive and earfull from whoever signs your paycheck).  So you gotta show up with your A-game every morning...there's none of this leeway for someone like, say, Jay Cutler, who can throw five picks on a Sunday afternoon, get benched, and then quickly forget about it in preparation for the next week (where he'll probably throw another 4 along with being sacked more times than I care to watch).  In the wine business, for a LOT of small producers, there is no tomorrow.  Do you enjoy pressure and long hours?  I might have a job for you!

To give you an idea of the kind of long hours to which I am referring, here's an outline of my first harvest shift of 2010....

9:45 pm:  Report to winery to write compliance work orders for the night's receiving and make coffee.

10 pm:  Write work orders.  You can probably assume which task got highest priority.

10:30 pm:  Radio cellar team leads for a truck update.  They haven't heard anything yet, and I'm not surprised.

11:15 pm:  A co-worker and I square off in a YouTube contest in which we have to show the funniest video.  I pull a Trump and win with the Bedroom Intruder song.

12 am:  Radio to the cellar draws no response.

12:40 am:  Pot #2 is on.  My eye-in-the-sky reports fruit within the hour.

1:30 am:  The first truck arrives at my facility--press-cut Pinot Gris.  Pump it out and we're underway.

2 am:  Begin gross solids removal from juice.

4:57 am:  Write work orders for fining-agent additions and start the clock on the required juice contact period.

5 am:  Begin fining-agent adds

6 am:  Begin removal of fining solids, make oatmeal, check fantasy baseball standings for the morning.

10:30 am:  Calculate yeast additions.

10:40 am:  Scour the winery for the correct yeast strain.

11:15 am:  Pitch yeast starters to tanks--now we're making wine!

12 pm:  Reinforcements arrive.  Lay out expectations for the afternoon.

2 pm:  Shift end.  Limp home to bed.  What was that...16 hours?

And I live for it.  Every second of it.  From August through December, each day is spent on this unbelievable high--the ultimate state of wired.  You find yourself breathing heavily when you realize that your body can't keep up with all the thoughts in your head.  You may only get one or two good nights worth of sleep in a week, but to me there's plenty of time to sleep in November.

The low point in the season is when you hit the stage of physical exhaustion.  Cleaning, lugging heavy hoses and pumps, deadlines, early deliveries, and paperwork take their toll, and right around October 10th everyone becomes a shell of irritability.  By then, no one wants to muck out the press at 3 am because they're soaked and tired and cold (and you can't expect being inside a small metal tube in the dark to be all peaches).  You really have no clue about the physical and mental strain of harvest until you've been there...

If you're interested in experiencing harvest for yourself (if my last paragraph didn't turn you off forever), there are actually PLENTY of opportunities for the lay person to get their hands dirty (literally).  True, there are wineries out there that offer "Be a winemaker for a day" events.  And they're cute and they give you a glass of wine and you're usually done by 3.  If that is the kind of experience that you seek, then go for it.  Think of it as harvest with training wheels.  They'll bring out bins of reject fruit (probably the stuff with a high enough percentage of rot that the winery would never ever use for wine) and put it in a bucket for you so that you can take off your shoes, roll up your pants, and have the time of your life.  You don't need to stay up all night picking, nor do you need to fill out weigh tags, sort berries, clean equipment, troubleshoot, perform all necessary laboratory analyses, and plan for the next day and/or week.  Easy-peasy.  Oh!  And your event is catered!  And they'll give you free wine!!  And you can get your picture taken!  Not that I would ever do a day like that, nor would I recommend it to someone legitimately interested in wine; however, I will tell you that such an experience can make for a good party or a fun date.

If you're serious...like, REALLY serious about learning how to make wine, most wineries (especially the small ones) are more than happy to take volunteers for the day.  If you don't mind all night shifts or early mornings, you can pick a few tons.  All you need is a knife or pair of pruners and a good attitude (picking is repetitive and sometimes tedious, but face it, it's necessary).  We pick at night because cold fruit is less susceptible to breakage and infection by bacteria or mold (it's also easier on the crews not to be out there in the heat of the day).  If the winery wants you on-site, chances are you'll be on the sorting table picking out leaves, shot-berries, and generally anything that looks nasty before it has a chance to go into the fermenter.  You might also be asked to clean this and that, and the winery will most likely provide you with lunch and beer (it does, in fact, take a lot of beer to make wine).  They may also give you a bottle or two as a thank-you (because free labor is always appreciated).  But by volunteering, you'll be able to pick brains and ask all those sound-silly-in-your-head-and-may-be-afraid-to-ask questions and find that they aren't silly at all.  As long as you show a genuine interest in what you're doing, winemakers will explain our whole world to you!  We're good people like that.

The best way to contact wineries looking for volunteers is through either Facebook or Twitter.  They'll post harvest updates fairly regularly, and there's your opportunity to offer your services.  Can't find your favorite winery?  Give them a call and sell yourself.  Unless it's a large operation, the chances of you being turned down are incredibly slim.

 

[caption id="attachment_224" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Harvest in Napa, 2009. I guess someone has to do it."][/caption]

Question of the day:  What was the hardest job that you've ever had?

Sincerely, though, thank you so much for reading.  Wine is my passion in life, and I love everything related to it.  If you have any questions at all regarding any part of the business, where to buy, or just want ideas on new wines you haven't tried before, I promise all of you that I will take time out of my day to answer all of them.

Until then, later, kids.  And Happy Harvest '11--I hope you were good this year.

 

See the time we shared it was precious to me, but all the while I was dreaming of revelry.

She and G...the ultimate kidnappers!

Today we kidnapped mama She and whisked her away to Napa for the day. When whisking someone away to Napa , the first stop ALWAYS must be Oakville Grocery to pick up lunch.



G made an appointment at Reverie Winery for 11:00. Our host, a retired police officer, wowed us with his knowledge. We laughed when he said he used to arrest drunk people and now his mission is to get people drunk and loving wine. We tasted in the cave. Tasted in the redwood tree grove. Then we ate our Oakville lunch with a bottle of Roussane and waited for the oyster tasting. Unlimited BBQ oysters with parmesan and chipolte peppers made by the oyster guy were divine! www.oysterguy.com





Fully stuffed on oysters we headed to our next appointment at Outpost on Howell Mountain Road. This place is a must, MUST visit!!!!





We chatted with both wine hosts who were incredibly knowledgeable. We are hoping one will be a guest post on this blog and tell of cross country stories from Philly to Napa stay tuned... Anyone who travels cross-country to immerse themselves in wine is fascinating. We purchased the Grenache and a Zin, both 09s, and tried the just-bottled 09 Cab...still inverted and shocked, but a blockbuster.

Dinner was at Hurley's in downtown Yountville. Food is not Bottega or Rutherford Grill worthy. Bland tastes but ok.

Great day!

Working 9 to 5

G Said: How do you deal with difficult coworkers?

She Said: Fresh out of college, I was bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to enter the working world. Visions danced in my head of being a working girl, and I imagined the crazy, funny, amazing coworkers awaiting me.  I envisioned my working girl life would be a little like this...

 and I would sing this song on the way to work...

                

and my teaching coworkers may be something like...

Michelle Pfeiffer would give me tough love.

John Keating would mentor me.



Jack would be workplace comic relief.



And working next to this would make me look good!



I was excited to jump in and meet my cast of co-workers.

After a couple of years in any workplace, the honeymoon stage is over.  One tells immediately who is and isn’t pulling his/her weight in the workplace.  The coworkers with the extreme political or religious beliefs are not afraid to voice opinions, and one avoids them at lunch.  Getting sucked in to gossip, cattiness, and water cooler talk is unavoidable. Again one must pick which group with whom to align, and it feels like high school all over again.  And hopefully a friendship will develop, which moves beyond the walls of the job.  These people have your back and will remain friends even if you leave the workplace.

The rose colored glasses I had when I started my first job are long gone.  In my short career I have cried when I found out coworkers were talking about me behind my back. And yet, I have made lasting friendships.  Some coworker friendships fizzled and resulted in Facebook “de-friending”.  Some co-workers have mentored me and generously shared professional tips, ideas, and I am grateful.

Here are some tips I have for dealing with difficult co-workers that I have picked up over my career thus far:

-Always have positive presuppositions and give coworkers the benefit of the doubt.

-Be up front and tell a difficult coworker how you feel.  Listen to their point of view, and  background information may help explain the difficulty.

-Walk in their shoes.  One never knows what could be going on in someone’s personal life that may affect them at work.

-Vent

-Buuuuuuuut make sure you vent to friends and family not associates and maybe decide a place away from work.

-Take some days to enjoy your lunch in peace and quiet.  Then you will have more energy to face the days when the difficult co-worker eats next to you.

-If a co-worker is your friend, but only spends time with you at work, maybe reconsider:  Is she/he really a true friend???  This is a red flag!  Trust me, down the road this could turn into a difficult co-worker situation.  Don’t be surprised when times are tough, this person is not there to help.

-Decide what  Facebook co-worker philosophy works for you. I have some friends who have two Facebook pages one for coworkers, and one for other friends.  This way their professional and personal life can be kept separate.  This is really smart move.

-Do what you love.  A difficult co-worker should never come between you and your career goals.  Find a career passion and focus with determination.

-Swallow pride, and target the co-worker’s good-side.  Kill them with kindness.  Office drama is gone, and good Karma prevails!

-Help them.  If a co-worker is disorganized, help them organize.  If someone is technology challenged, teach them.

-A boss needs to know.  Let the boss know your intentions to build a cohesive team, and ask for his/her expertise as an outsider perspective.  Set up meetings with the difficult co-worker and the boss can act as mediator.

-Get competitive.  Challenge the difficult co-worker to a waste paper throwing contest. When you kick their butt, it provides great satisfaction!

-Watch movies or TV shows, which focus on the work place, maybe your situation won’t seem so horrendous. (The Office, The Devil Wears Prada, Bridget Jones Diary, 9 to 5, Office Space)

-Find your inner child and turn on the imagination!  Think of your work place as the hottest show that hit ABC.  Who is the Dwight to your Jim?  Create clever names for the person who sits next to you.   Do you have a McSteamy in your midst?  Think what your viewers would want.  Keep your ratings high. And viewers happy.

-Finally, go the extra mile for your favorite co-workers.  Plan outside work happy hours and karaoke nights, take them to lunch, bring them a cake for their birthday, and make sure they know you are appreciative.  These people are your difficult co-worker life preservers!

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She said G said readers do you have any difficult co-worker tips or stories to share?  

Tramps like us, baby we were born to run

She Said: With the premier of Jersey Shore, let's honor the blowout, get our fist pump on, eat some frickles and make it a chicken cutlet night.  Kick back after a long day of GTL and have our in-house Jersey boy answer this:  What does a Jersey boy far away from home miss the most about the Garden State?

G Said: I have a California driver's license and a job that really can't be done on the same level anywhere else...I'm here for good.  That being said, as much fun as the west coast is, there are some facets of life that are just better in Jerz.  I'll do my best to prevent this post from becoming a rant, but I'm not making any promises.  So nuke your pork roll, call your ma, and get a tan for chrissake.  Here's some culture for you...

1.  The food.  Joe Pantoliano (seated at left table) said "You know you've spent too much time in California when the food starts tasting good," and frankly, I couldn't agree more.  If your a friend of the blog, then you're already aware of my stance on west coast pizza.  No sense in beating a dead horse there.  But really, someone show me an honest-to-God butcher out here!  Just for kicks, here are Google search results for NJ butcher and CA butcher....look at all the locations!  And California doesn't even have enough to show the little map-thing!  All I want is someone who knows how to use a knife that gives a shit, and instead I've gotta wait on line at Save Mart and hope that the guy behind the counter can give me the right kind of tasty, tasty animal.  The same goes for deli's.  While Californians seem to be catching on (perhaps they consider them to be a "hip trend"), their efforts are slightly...off the mark (though well-intentioned).  Let's go back to the grocery store line, only now we've walked 10 yards or so and we're standing before a glass counter of pre-packaged lunchmeat.  You like pastrami?  Great!  Me, too.  Let's get some.  There's your standard sandwich-slice (pictured ever so beautifully), or you can get it thinner.  I tend to stick to slightly thicker out here because whenever I say "thin," those with the slicers hear "shredded."  Fail.  And if you want proschoot (or prosciutto, for those unfamiliar with the NJ-Italian dialect), forget about it...that's exactly what I want...shredded ham for $20 a pound.

2.  The Shore.  The Jersey shore is like Vegas, but with more attitude and none of that wedding nonsense thrown in.  Most of the attractions date from the '30s or '40s, and my father would tell me stories about when he and my aunt used to go down the shore to the exact same spots my sister and I would hit.  While a little more built-up, their identities are essentially the same.  Though crowded, the shore provided something for everyone...families, college kids, grandparents looking to read a book, or even people looking for trouble.  But the beautiful thing about these towns/sociological case-studies is that all factions seamlessly co-exist.  There might be some rifts within (like tourists or bennys), but on a greater level, they recognize the necessity of other groups to complete the shore-ecosystem.

But what do I miss?  Seeing The Boss at the Stone Pony.  Disco fries.  Boardwalk fights (which consist of a guy and twenty of his friends against another guy and twenty of his friends).  Asbury Park at dusk.  The Sinatra House.  Wildwood--all of it.  DJais.  Iconic places.  Seaside Heights after the prom.  And yes, even AC.

3.  Winter.  And I'm not talking about "the rainy season," but actual snow and ice.  The area where I live now can be categorized by two distinct climactic phases--hot and dry, and cold and wet.  Right around April (though it seems to get later and later every year), the rain magically stops and we're in for a nice long growing season (great if you're in the wine business)!  The summer weather is also FAR more reliable here than where I grew up, and even I have a tendency to take outdoor plans for granted.  Some words that are heard extremely rarely in California:  hurricane, rain delay, humidity, sausage and peppers (oops, that's not weather-related).

But back to winter.  I enjoy shoveling snow, which is sick but true.  I went back to Jersey for Christmas last year and was up at 4 am so that I could shovel my parents' driveway (for those interested, I volunteered).  Hell, I even like that twisted-yet-excited game created by swarms of cars on icy roads.  You might be thinking that if I really miss these experiences, then I could always go to Tahoe or something.  They have snow there, and I could always get my fix.  And while that theory looks good on paper, it lacks one essential core principle:  I like it when snow comes to me, not when I have to go to it.  I smirk to myself when I see people plop down hundreds of dollars on a January weekend to live like my parents...like NJ Fantasy Camp.  However, come Sunday night they can all fire up their Priuses and return with cameras full of memories to their snowless homes.  Idealized and sweet, yes, but what they lack is the lifestyle created by winter --experiences that I will never take for granted.

I'll be your engine driver in a bunny suit, If you dress me up in pink and white, We may be just a little fuzzy 'bout it later tonight

She said:  Off we headed this weekend for an Oregon road trip adventure, destination my cousin’s wedding.  G had never been to Oregon before, so I was excited to show him around and introduce him to my family.  We hit the rode early (7:00 a.m.) thanks to G, and we only made two quick stops; determined to make it to King Estates Winery before the Albany River Rhythm’s concert at 7:00.  This was our first road trip together and the driving time flew by.   We took in the beautiful scenery of Shasta.  We played the license plate game. We sang to Counting Crows, and I am still amazed that we both know essentially every song and every lyric of this band.  The only time G and I get a bit tense during road trip adventures are when GPS, directions, and finding destinations are involved.  I admit I am incredibly directionally challenged and G is a bit stubborn.  He hates the GPS, and I can’t live with out it.  Google maps on the phone is unreliable because service often goes out.  I believe in stopping when lost and asking for directions; G, not so much and would rather back track.  So what is a couple to do:  conflicting  direction-finding beliefs, finding destinations on windy roads, missing signs that are barely visible, and knowing no specific landmarks?  We try to be patient.  We get really quiet.  I send a few prayers up.  And in the end we succeed, albeit I am usually frazzled and sweating profusely.  We hug it out and move forward.

G Said:

I never want a GPS.  You know how they say "never say never"?  Well, I'm saying never.

We all have personality quirks.  Maybe you can't leave the house without your lucky hat; or maybe whenever you eat peas and mashed potatoes, you don't like your food to touch.  I, for one, genuinely dislike the sound of robot navigation.  And you can argue with me all you want about how you can change the sex and nationality of the voice to something more exciting or pleasing...that doesn't change the fact that I've gotta sit there and be bossed around by this device when there's a perfectly good person (in this case, She) in the car with me (and I would MUCH rather listen to her).  My sister has one of these.  She changed the narration to the eastern European guy and has since named her GPS "Gustav."  Because of proximity, my encounters with Gustav have been limited, but let me tell you that he has all the technological abilities of an old Soviet spy satellite.  He'll send you down the wrong exit, or the wrong way up a one-way (which actually happened to She and I this weekend), but he'll get you there....with enough patience.

Please refer above where She calls me stubborn.  She could not be more accurate.

I enjoy a puzzle and a chase.  I'm a problem-solver by nature and, given a few ideas, can usually figure things out and don't want to be fed an answer when I'm so so close.  So what does that tell you about me?  That I'm a man.  I'm fully aware that, like, 95% of our current readership is female and I'm setting myself up for all kinds of comments and eye-rolls; however, I'm standing by character traits.  Feel free to call me a "typical male" down below this post, but remember that I give out bonus points for originality.

If our biggest issue is the handling of directions white driving, I think She and I are doing pretty well.  Like she said, she's more the "stop and ask" type, while I'm more the type to take in my surroundings and seek something out.  But that works!  We always get to where we want to go.  So in it's own bizarre way, the universe works itself out.  And you know what?  Driving is a very small part of life; and with the right company, it can still be a good time (even in a stressful situation).

Now, if you wanted to get me this kind of droid-navigation, I wouldn't be opposed.

Oh and one final picture from the end of our road trip day.  We made it to the gas station just in time.

What is your couple style regarding driving and directions?

If there is a load you need to bear, That you can't carry I'm right up the road, I'll share your load, If you just call me.

Today She and G are starting a new series on our blog.  On Monday and Thursdays we will have Q and A  She and G style.  On Mondays G will ask She a question which she will answer and on Thursday She will ask G a question.  Here we go....

G Said:  Just how important is meeting the family?

She Said:  In my case meeting family is a multi dimensional process and a bit untraditional.  The two most important family members in my life are my mom and my closest girlfriends.  As an only child I yearned for brothers and sisters that never came so over the years my close knit group of girlfriends became my sisters.  My family in Oregon is also an important piece in my family makeup.  These three parts of my family patchwork are incredibly important for a boyfriend to know them, respect them, and appreciate them just as much as I do, or relationship simply would not work.

In my life so far, my mom and I are two peas in a pod.  We have battled together through some rough storms and come out on the other side together and stronger for it.  My mom is not judgmental and sees the best in people.  She has never told me who I can and can't date and she trusts my instincts and knows I am a good judge of character, so a boyfriend I bring home to her must be something special.  It is critical my boyfriend meet my mom because of the large role she plays in my life.  I talk to my mom everyday.  My mom is my confidant, best friend, mentor and much more.  She is an intricate part of my life so inevitably becomes a part of my boyfriend's life, as well.  On occasion I want to be able to go out to dinner, wine taste, travel, and hang out with my boyfriend and mom together.  This can only happen if all parties get a long.  And who are we kidding, those who know my mom know she is the easiest person to get to know.  My friend once said any man who has your mom as their mother in law is the luckiest guy in the world.  I believe this.

My girlfriends offer more of a discerning sisterly eye.  They are the ones who have helped mold my personality and know me inside and out.  They have been with me along the road of heartache and breakups.  They know what has worked and what hasn't worked.  They have seen my vision boards of my hopeful future and heard all about my goals when it comes to life and love.  These girls delicately carry my soul, and I value their opinion and thoughts greatly.  Just like my mom, they trust that I expect quality, and are happy if I am happy.  Some of them are also not afraid to speak their minds and let me know their true thoughts about who I am dating.  My girlfriends are my family, and it is extremely important to me for my boyfriend to appreciate and love them just as much as I do.  When I vision my future, I see my friends as a huge part of holidays, summer vacations, house parties, my wedding, my children's lives and much more.  If I have a crisis or problem in a relationship I may turn to one of these respected girlfriends to provide a non judgmental ear and offer advice to strengthen my bond with my partner.  Introducing a boyfriend to my "friend" family  is a big step.

I am a firm believer that if your family is skeptical of who you are dating and has strong opinion, it deserves consideration.  They know you, love you, and are removed from the situation, so can offer a unique outsider perspective.  I worry for anyone that turns away from family and isolates themselves.  Their partnership becomes their everything, and may expect their partner to meet their every need.  This is dangerous and toxic.

And finally there are always family members who provide a challenge.  This may be a family member with whom you are feuding, a family member who is toxic to your life, a family member who is an alcoholic, or does drugs.  When in a relationship one wants to present a positive image, and introducing a partner to this kind of family member may be too difficult.  Once trust and understanding is established with your partner, the difficult introductions may happen.  From my own experience when the right person comes along, they simply understand and proceed without judgment.  They hold your hand through the pain, council you when you need advice, are patient if you need time before introducing them, and are able to separate you from the situation and love you regardless.

G has met the many parts of my family including my mom, some of my close girlfriends, and this weekend he met my amazing Oregon family!  I am so grateful that he has such a willing attitude, a smile on his face, and that he fits right in.

Oregon Family!

My mom and I being silly.

Just some of the girls...



"Families are the compass that guide us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter." Brad Henry

Let us know your thoughts...How important is meeting family to you when it comes to your relationship?