Working 9 to 5

G Said: How do you deal with difficult coworkers?

She Said: Fresh out of college, I was bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to enter the working world. Visions danced in my head of being a working girl, and I imagined the crazy, funny, amazing coworkers awaiting me.  I envisioned my working girl life would be a little like this...

 and I would sing this song on the way to work...

                

and my teaching coworkers may be something like...

Michelle Pfeiffer would give me tough love.

John Keating would mentor me.



Jack would be workplace comic relief.



And working next to this would make me look good!



I was excited to jump in and meet my cast of co-workers.

After a couple of years in any workplace, the honeymoon stage is over.  One tells immediately who is and isn’t pulling his/her weight in the workplace.  The coworkers with the extreme political or religious beliefs are not afraid to voice opinions, and one avoids them at lunch.  Getting sucked in to gossip, cattiness, and water cooler talk is unavoidable. Again one must pick which group with whom to align, and it feels like high school all over again.  And hopefully a friendship will develop, which moves beyond the walls of the job.  These people have your back and will remain friends even if you leave the workplace.

The rose colored glasses I had when I started my first job are long gone.  In my short career I have cried when I found out coworkers were talking about me behind my back. And yet, I have made lasting friendships.  Some coworker friendships fizzled and resulted in Facebook “de-friending”.  Some co-workers have mentored me and generously shared professional tips, ideas, and I am grateful.

Here are some tips I have for dealing with difficult co-workers that I have picked up over my career thus far:

-Always have positive presuppositions and give coworkers the benefit of the doubt.

-Be up front and tell a difficult coworker how you feel.  Listen to their point of view, and  background information may help explain the difficulty.

-Walk in their shoes.  One never knows what could be going on in someone’s personal life that may affect them at work.

-Vent

-Buuuuuuuut make sure you vent to friends and family not associates and maybe decide a place away from work.

-Take some days to enjoy your lunch in peace and quiet.  Then you will have more energy to face the days when the difficult co-worker eats next to you.

-If a co-worker is your friend, but only spends time with you at work, maybe reconsider:  Is she/he really a true friend???  This is a red flag!  Trust me, down the road this could turn into a difficult co-worker situation.  Don’t be surprised when times are tough, this person is not there to help.

-Decide what  Facebook co-worker philosophy works for you. I have some friends who have two Facebook pages one for coworkers, and one for other friends.  This way their professional and personal life can be kept separate.  This is really smart move.

-Do what you love.  A difficult co-worker should never come between you and your career goals.  Find a career passion and focus with determination.

-Swallow pride, and target the co-worker’s good-side.  Kill them with kindness.  Office drama is gone, and good Karma prevails!

-Help them.  If a co-worker is disorganized, help them organize.  If someone is technology challenged, teach them.

-A boss needs to know.  Let the boss know your intentions to build a cohesive team, and ask for his/her expertise as an outsider perspective.  Set up meetings with the difficult co-worker and the boss can act as mediator.

-Get competitive.  Challenge the difficult co-worker to a waste paper throwing contest. When you kick their butt, it provides great satisfaction!

-Watch movies or TV shows, which focus on the work place, maybe your situation won’t seem so horrendous. (The Office, The Devil Wears Prada, Bridget Jones Diary, 9 to 5, Office Space)

-Find your inner child and turn on the imagination!  Think of your work place as the hottest show that hit ABC.  Who is the Dwight to your Jim?  Create clever names for the person who sits next to you.   Do you have a McSteamy in your midst?  Think what your viewers would want.  Keep your ratings high. And viewers happy.

-Finally, go the extra mile for your favorite co-workers.  Plan outside work happy hours and karaoke nights, take them to lunch, bring them a cake for their birthday, and make sure they know you are appreciative.  These people are your difficult co-worker life preservers!

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She said G said readers do you have any difficult co-worker tips or stories to share?